As someone who doesn't play with her self-respect, I figured I should share this with y'all because I feel like one of the worst things that can happen to anybody, is losing your self-respect. So here are ways you can stop that from happening:
1. STOP PICKING ON PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T COME FOR YOU
If you always coming for people, with time they’ll get used to it, and you become irrelevant to them!
2. STOP UNNECESSARY BEGGING
The first time I wrote this, I said “stop begging”, but then I thought about it, and realized we all need each other. There are times we may need urgent help, and we won’t have a choice but to beg. That’s fine, but don’t beg too much, and don’t always beg. If you have to beg, let it be your last option. Note that asking and begging aren’t the same thing. Fact is that, not all humans think right. Most people will take advantage of you begging—they’ll think they’re superior to you, use you to their advantage, and may not even help you at the end of the day.
3. STOP SAYING MORE THAN NECESSARY
I learnt this the hard way. I used to freely trust people that I could say anything or what I feel about a situation, to someone. But you see most humans? Ugh! Let’s forget that. Please when you having a conversation with someone, always think before you talk.
4. NEVER TOLERATE DISRESPECT
If someone disrespects you, kindly let them know you don’t appreciate it!
5. MIND HOW YOU USE PEOPLE’S STUFF
Just because humans will always be humans, if your friend doesn’t use your stuff as much as you use theirs, it’ll bring disrespect, and quarrels even. I personally would rather take/give, than share. I’ll rather give you any of my stuff you like, buy it for you, ask you for yours if I like it, than share it with you.
6. VISIT ONLY THOSE WHO VISIT YOU
Except you haven’t heard from them in while, or they’re sick, please respect yourself, and don’t look for who’s not looking for you. If they not keeping in contact with you, even after you’ve made one or two attempts to check on them, please leave them alone. Give your energy back to those who deserve/need it.
7. INVEST IN YOURSELF AND MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY
We’re naturally attracted to people who take care of themselves. If you’re always sad, or don’t care about how you look, how do you expect people to take you seriously? Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. You can just take care of the little clothes you have by always keeping them clean, and you can also eat healthy, meditate, and get enough sleep at night. Read books or journals that are healthy for your body and mind.
8. STOP ENTERTAINING GOSSIPS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Yup, great minds discuss ideas. I don’t like talking about people because it means I’m giving them importance, when I can spend that time doing something productive - unless they've done something to me, or something worth talking about. I discuss that with someone I trust, and end it there! Gossips are a no for me. When someone tells you about other people, and you’re not sure what to say, then be quiet. Next time, they won’t tell you about anybody again. The best part is that you even get to save yourself from “they said that you said” drama!
I know there could be exceptions to this where you get to gist your partner, or best friend about situations, or people involved it.
Gossip is minding other people's business or speaking ill of someone who has done nothing wrong to you, and I don't think that's cool. It screams insecurity, and jealousy!
9. THINK BEFORE YOU TALK
80% of how people value you is based on what comes out of your mouth.
10. DRESS GOOD
Like I already explained in No.7, you don’t have to spend so much money on outfits if you don’t have enough money. Always keep the ones you have clean, and in good condition by folding, hanging, and ironing when necessary.
11. BE AN ACHIEVER
Get busy with your goals, and focus on one relationship at a time. People will respect you more seeing how devoted you are to one person, and they'll definitely lose all respect for you, and talk behind your back when they see you're easily distracted or in multiple relationships. These are things you can't hide, and even if you do, not for long.
12. RESPECT YOUR TIME
Very important! Don’t let anyone waste your time, unless they’re babies, old, or sick. Be strict with your time, and respect other people’s time too! Don’t waste your time and life doing something unproductive with anyone. They’ll never respect you.
13. DON’T KEEP STAYING IN RELATIONSHIPS WHERE YOU AREN’T APPRECIATED NOR RESPECTED
I know how much I hate disrespect, and the few times I’ve disrespected my man, I felt so terrible afterwards. Truth is that we know when we’re being harsh or disrespectful so if a person feels no remorse disrespecting you, then maybe they don’t regard you or they don’t even respect themselves; so respect yourself by walking away.
14. LEARN TO SPEND ON YOURSELF
It goes like the saying “people will treat you how you treat yourself”. By learning to spend on yourself, people will learn to spend on you.
15. DON’T ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE (I kind of unintentionally do this)
You don’t have to always crave for attention, or let people know they can easily get yours. Sometimes, take a break, evaluate life, know your strengths, and weaknesses, improve yourself, and be a better person. Spend your time alone doing these.
16. BE MORE OF A GIVER THAN A RECEIVER
If you’re always collecting without giving, one day it’ll be used against you—intentionally or unintentionally.
17. DON’T GO WHERE YOU ARE NOT INVITED
As an introvert, and a socially awkward person, I don’t mind not attending occasions, so if a friend is hosting a party, and doesn’t invite me, it’s actually a win for me!
To keep your respect, if someone you know is throwing a party or having a function, and they didn’t invite you, don’t go. Unless you believe they must have forgotten to invite you, then call them, and ask. Also remember not to overstay your welcome.
18. TREAT EVERYONE NICELY
Yes! Whether they’re rich or poor, treat them nicely because they’re humans like you; unless they’re an as*, then you can choose not to entertain them.
19. NEVER CALL SOMEONE MORE THAN TWICE
Except they owe you money, two call attempts are enough. If they value you, they will return your calls.
20. BE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO!
Be the best at what you do, with consistent practice(I’m still learning this).
Ps, say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Have a nice day.
